BDSM 002
Topic
A study of BDSM as a phenomenon, psychology and its practices
Author
Ustyuzhanina Alina Valerievna
Alternative titles
“Exploring BDSM: Understanding, Practice and Psychology”
“Safety and Consent: BDSM Basics for Beginners”.
“A Guide to the World of BDSM: From Fantasy to Reality.”
“From Theory to Practice: How to Start Your BDSM Journey”
Reading time
13 min
Contents
Introduction. Definition, main rules, attributes. ……………………………………………………….………………………… 2
Types of practices. Bondage.…………………………………………………………………………………………………………….… 3
Dominance and submission. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 4
Sadism and masochism. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… 5
Playing with temperature. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. 6
Electrostimulation. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………… 7
Sensory deprivation. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….……… 8
Fetishism. ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 9
Controlling orgasm. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….. 11
BDSM is chemistry! ……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 12
References. …………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………. 14
BDSM is a sexual act or series of acts intended to subjugate, dominate and inflict pain on a person in order to fulfill a need. In an early Durex survey in 2005, about 36% of respondents had used submission and domination techniques in one way or another, suggesting that the boundaries of BDSM culture are expanding.
The name is an acronym representing several related types of sexual practices and role-playing. It stands for
BD — Bondage and Discipline
DS — Dominance and Submission
SM — Sadism and Masochism
In modern times BDSM began to be applied in the 90s of the last century, but already at the end of the 18th century such practices were considered a separate sexual direction, we can see it in the works of Marquis De Sade and Leopold von Sacher-Masoch, whose names have become nouns for the terms “sadism” and “masochism”. Today BDSM is considered a separate culture and it is no longer possible to tell whether a person likes it or not. The 2014 edition of the Journal of Sexual Medicine published the following data: 65% of the studied women showed fantasies to be in sexual slavery, 52% wanted to experience the emotions of binding, 47% wanted to become dominants. In 2020, PornHub found out in which countries the most use BDSM practices, the top three were Hong Kong, Switzerland and Germany. The following places were: Austria, Japan, Belarus, Taiwan, Russia, the Netherlands and Denmark. According to statistics, women like BDSM much more than men – as much as 86% more often representatives of the fair sex look for such topics on porn sites. Homosexuals are 12% more interested in this genre than bi and heterosexuals. In terms of age among BDSM lovers, people over 65 years old are the leaders, among users from 18 to 24 years old only 2%.
Main rules of BDSM:
1. Consent. It is important to discuss boundaries, preferences, and stop words in advance.
2. Safety. This is the top priority. It incorporates into the “natural” course of things the use of safe words and gestures, having the right equipment, and following safety rules.
3. Communication. Open and honest communication between partners helps prevent misunderstandings and ensures a positive experience for all involved.
4. Sobriety and responsibility. Participants should be sober and aware of their actions. Responsible behavior helps avoid unwanted situations.
But even in spite of this there are a lot of mishaps, BDSM-practice is recognized as one of the most traumatically dangerous and lethal ways to diversify boring sex life. The main dangers to a person are: asphyxia, burns and/or frostbite, hematomas, and groin injuries. Where a person tries to find pleasure, most often finds irreversible consequences. Some of the most dangerous and harmful BDSM practices for humans include tramping and ball blasting. The first is a particular fetish that consists of a man’s love of women walking on his body, this carries a huge danger to the bones and skin of the submissive. The second practice states the love of men to receive blows in the groin, according to doctors, this type of pleasure is particularly bad for the childbearing function.
Attributes
They play an important role in BDSM and the creation of the atmosphere and realization of various practices. These can include many items designed for binding, discipline, dominance, submission, sadism and masochism. The main categories and examples of such attributes are:
Binding and restraint (bondage): ropes, handcuffs and shackles, gags, safety belts and straps.
Discipline and punishment: whips and whips, sticks and canes, paddles and gloves.
Dominance and submission: collars and leashes, masks and hoods, chairs and thrones.
Sadism and masochism: needles and spikes, wax candles, electrical stimulators.
Fetish and accessories: latex and leather, boots and high-heeled shoes, lingerie and costumes.
Types of BDSM practices
Bondage
It is one of the central techniques in BDSM, involving binding and restraining a partner. The practice can be aesthetic, erotic or used to enhance feelings of control and submission. The main types of bondage are rope techniques originating from Japan: shibari and kinbaku, but it is also appropriate to use other elements such as shackles or handcuffs. The success of this technique lies in the selection of the right materials, the ability to guess the right tension and knowledge of the key points where to bind the partner categorically not allowed (neck, wrists, ankles). It is always necessary to check the blood circulation in places of particularly tight interaction between the material and the partner’s skin; if you observe bluish tones and coldness on the skin, you should immediately stop the session.
Dominance and submission
This is a key aspect of BDSM involving the power and control dynamics between partners. In this relationship, one partner (the dominant) assumes the role of the controlling partner and the other partner (the submissive) assumes the role of the subordinate. It is important to note that this relationship is always based on consent, trust and mutual respect.
The main aspects of this practice is the division into roles, based on their desires and fantasies, participants divide into roles, negotiating the boundaries of what is allowed, discipline outside of BDSM sessions and permissible paraphernalia. Types of dominance and submission are divided into physical and psychological.
Physical:
- Flogging and punishment. Includes the use of various tools such as whips, canes, and paddles to punish the submissive.
- Tying and restraint. Use of ropes, handcuffs, shackles to restrict mobility.
- Sensory deprivation. Use of masks, earplugs, gags to limit sensory perception.
Psychological:
- Humiliation. Verbal or symbolic actions designed to lower the sabmissive’s self-esteem. This may include taunting, name-calling, or performing humiliating tasks.
- Commands and control. The dominant gives instructions that the “submissive” must follow. This can apply to everyday activities as well as specific tasks.
- Mental boundary games. Involves psychological influence and manipulation, such as role-playing games where the passive must perform difficult or unusual tasks.
In addition to this, there are specific ways of D/S relationships:
- Total submission (24/7). The submissive is in the role of subordinate at all times, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. This may include household chores, strict rules, and complete control by the dominant.
- Training the submissive. The dominant trains the passive in certain skills and behaviors that are expected of him. This may include physical exercise, teaching etiquette and other specific behavioral frameworks.
- Public submission. The submissive follows the dominant’s instructions in public or in public places, which adds an element of stress and excitement.
Sadism and masochism (Sadomaso)
These are important aspects of BDSM culture, and they involve taking pleasure in pain and humiliation. Sadism involves taking pleasure in inflicting pain or humiliation on others, whereas masochism involves taking pleasure in receiving pain or humiliation.
Sadism.
Sadism in the context of BDSM is deriving sexual pleasure from inflicting pain, humiliation, or discomfort on a partner. Sadistic practices may include flogging, bondage, use of whips, canes, insults, and other forms of physical or psychological abuse.
Masochism.
Masochism in the context of BDSM is deriving sexual pleasure from receiving pain, humiliation, or discomfort. May include flogging, use of whips, bondage, sensory deprivation, etc. S&M practices are divided into physical and psychological.
Physical:
- Flogging. The use of hands, whips, blades or other tools to strike the body. This can be the buttocks, thighs, back and other parts of the body.
- Whips and lashes. Using whips and lashes of different sizes and materials to inflict blows. Different tools give different sensations and levels of pain.
- Canes and sticks. The use of canes or sticks to deliver blows. Cane sticks are often more painful and require caution.
- Needles and piercings. Inserting needles into the skin to create pain and visual effect. This requires a high level of skill and caution.
- Electrical stimulation. The use of electrical devices to stimulate nerves and muscles, which can cause pain and pleasure.
Psychological:
- Humiliation. The use of verbal or symbolic actions to lower a partner’s self-esteem. This may include name-calling, performing humiliating tasks, or wearing demeaning attributes.
- Sensory Deprivation. Restricting one or more senses, such as vision (eye mask), hearing (earplugs), or touch (bandages). This heightens sensation and can cause discomfort and fear.
- Role-playing. Integrating elements of sadism and masochism into role-playing where one partner plays the role of the sadist and the other plays the role of the masochist. This can include scenarios involving punishment, interrogation, etc.
Playing with temperature
It is a practice of using different temperatures to create unique sensory experiences on the skin and body of a partner. These games can involve both heating and cooling, and they are often used to enhance pleasure and pain.
Wax. Melted wax is dripped onto the partner’s skin, creating a sensation of warmth and mild pain. Special candles with a low melting point are usually used to avoid burns.
Ice games. Ice is used to cool the skin, creating a contrasting sensation. Ice can be moved around the body, applied to specific points, or used in conjunction with other forms of stimulation.
Playing with hot and cold liquids. Using hot or cold liquids such as water, oil, or wine to create temperature sensations on the skin. Liquids can be applied using bottles, sponges, or directly from containers.
Metal objects. Metal objects such as forks, spoons, knives, or specialty BDSM toys are heated or cooled before use on the skin. Metal conducts heat and cold faster than other materials, creating a strong sensation.
Hot and cold compresses. The use of compresses to locally heat or cool certain parts of the body. This can be used to prepare the skin for other types of stimulation or as a stand-alone practice.
Electrostimulation
It is the practice of using electrical currents to stimulate nerve endings and muscles, creating unique sensations ranging from mild tingling to more intense pain sensations. This practice can be both physically and psychologically energizing, and requires special attention to safety.
Equipment for these sessions should be purchased from sex shops and never use improvised tools:
Electrical stimulators are devices that generate electrical impulses. Popular models include TENS (transcutaneous electrical nerve stimulation), EMS (electrical muscle stimulation) and devices specifically designed for BDSM.
Electrodes are the contact points through which the electric current is transmitted to the body. Can be in the form of stickers, umbrellas, gloves or other forms.
Stimulation is divided into sensory and muscular, in the first case there are slight tingles, in the second – stronger pain sensations and muscle contractions.
Examples of electrostimulation practices:
- Skin electrodes. Stickers or plates that attach to the skin and transmit electrical impulses. They can be placed on different parts of the body to create different sensations.
- Electrogloves. Gloves with built-in electrodes that allow current to be transmitted through the fingers when you touch your partner. This creates a more interactive and controlled sensation.
- Vaginal and anal electrodes. Specially designed electrodes for internal use. Can be inserted into the vagina or anus to create intense internal stimulation.
- Electrodes and probes. Instruments that allow current to be transmitted when touched or applied to the skin. Can be used for more precise and targeted stimulation.
Sensory deprivation
Presents a BDSM practice in which one partner restricts the sensory perception of the other partner. This can include blocking sight, hearing, touch, smell or even taste. The purpose of this practice is to heighten sensations, deepen trust between partners, and create intense psychological and physical experiences.
Types of sensory deprivation:
- Visual deprivation. Masks, helmets and blindfolds are used. Visual deprivation increases the submissive’s sense of vulnerability and dependence on the dominant.
- Auditory deprivation. Earplugs, noise-canceling headphones, or special helmets are used. This reduces or eliminates the ability to hear ambient sounds, heightening other senses and increasing feelings of isolation.
- Tactile deprivation. Gloves, insulating materials, or other means of inhibiting tactile sensation are used. This practice limits the ability of the submissive to feel touch, which can make any touching by the dominant more intense.
- Olfactory Deprivation. Special masks or nasal plugs are practiced. This can reduce or eliminate odors, creating a sense of isolation and enhancing other sensory perceptions.
- Taste deprivation. Gags or other devices that restrict taste are used. This limits the ability to taste flavors, which may be part of a broader sensory deprivation.
Fetishism
Fetishism in BDSM is a practice that emphasizes certain objects, materials, or body parts that cause intense sexual arousal. In the context of these practices, fetishism can be combined with various elements of power, submission, pain and pleasure. In a general sense, it is a sexual attraction to objects or body parts not directly related to genital sexuality.
Types of fetishism in BDSM:
- Material fetishes. Many are aroused by items of clothing or accessories made of certain materials. Leather clothing, corsets, gloves, boots, latex costumes and masks are often used in BDSM scenes. Velvet, silk, and nylon are considered equally popular.
- Body part fetish. Foot and shoe fetish (boots, high-heeled shoes) is one of the most common. Practices may include kissing, licking, or sniffing the feet and/or soles. This applies to hands as well, gloves can be an object of fetish, as well as the hands and fingers themselves.
- Fetish for accessories and objects. Masks, hoods, and other objects that cover the face or head are often used to create anonymity and increase the sense of control, this enters as a major fetish in this category. Ropes, handcuffs, belts, slings, and other binding tools can be perceived as a fondness for tying, but sometimes they act specifically as a fetish object rather than foreplay for further action.
- Fetish for certain actions. Among the most prominent action fetishes are spanking and stoolification. The first is a special love for flogging, spanking and other forms of physical punishment. The second is a fetish for humiliation, which can include its verbal manifestation, playing with dirt, etc.
Controlling orgasm
This is a practice in which the dominant manages the sexual arousal and orgasm of the submissive, increasing control and submission in the relationship. This practice can include both delaying orgasm (jacking) and forcing it, or the frequency with which it occurs.
Types:
- Denying orgasm.
Delayed orgasm: the dominant stimulates the submissive to a state close to orgasm, but prevents her from reaching orgasm by interrupting the stimulation. This process may be repeated several times.
Total orgasm prohibition: the submissive is prohibited from reaching orgasm for a certain period of time, which can cause both physical and emotional stress.
- Forced orgasm.
Multiple orgasms: the dominant forces the submissive to orgasm repeatedly, often to the point of exhaustion or discomfort.
Orgasm on command: the submissive must reach orgasm only at the dominant’s command.
- Control of orgasm frequency.
Scheduled orgasms: the dominant sets a schedule for orgasms, such as allowing orgasms only on certain days or after completing certain tasks.
Unexpected orgasms: the dominant decides when and where the submissive is allowed or not allowed to orgasm.
BDSM is chemistry!
Surprisingly to everyone, at times BDSM has positive effects on the body and psyche of both partners in moderation. In one of the issues of the Journal of Sexual Medicine was found a publication by some Belgian scientists. A kinky party (a party in which those present openly display their sexual desires) was created for the experiment. A total of 35 couples participated. The main condition was to donate blood: before attending the party, immediately after and 15 minutes later. The results showed the following:
- Dominant – the number of endocannabinoids increases, which means the person is in a state of euphoria.
- Submissive – finds themselves in a stressful situation, in connection with which the level of cortisol increases. Stress occurs against the background of intrigue of further actions. They do not know what pain he will experience and how much they will enjoy it. Cortisol indicates the release of adrenaline into the bloodstream. The subordinate feels a surge of strength. It also allows the body to show resistance to viral infections.
The participants shared that they were completely satisfied with the experience. They wanted to have a new experience and were not interested in the opinion of others. A trusting relationship developed between the partners.
Those who were members of a BDSM group:
- Felt more confident in their relationship with their partner;
- Had a sense of fulfillment in life;
- Tried to act with integrity towards others;
- Were more sociable;
- Were more open to new experiences;
- Had lower anxiety;
- Were less dependent on public opinion.
At the same time, couples who have most often practiced BDSM practices in their personal lives are more likely to experience a particular mental and physical slump that the submissive experiences after a particularly hard BDSM session or a few hours/days after the events – the subdrop. It is similar to drug use, when after the euphoria comes a feeling of emotional and physical devastation.
Symptoms of subdrop:
- vasoconstriction;
- hypoglycemia;
- depression;
- anxiety;
- insomnia or nightmares;
- difficulty concentrating;
- bouts of aggression.
The body tries to return to the previous level of hormones that are produced during BDSM sessions and subdrop: endorphins and enkephalins (cause euphoria and have a “painkilling” effect), adrenaline (fear, increased heart rate, increased blood pressure), dopamine (pleasure hormone; produced in order to repeat what brought joy).
First, it’s worth remembering that this is temporary. In a relatively short time hormones will fall into place and malaise will turn into a stable background, but for the early disappearance of symptoms need to focus on the satisfaction of physiological, psychological and emotional needs, sometimes this requires a second partner. Secondly, the elixir against this is the prevention of this event. Here are a few recommendations that couples with many years of experience in this relationship have come up with:
- Stay awake, get enough sleep;
- Drink enough water, 2-3 liters;
- Eat well and do not skip meals;
- In case of chronic diseases, take medicines in time;
- Clothes and shoes should be spacious and comfortable.
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References:
1. “The New Topping Book” and “The New Bottoming Book” Dossie Easton and Janet Hardy.
2. “SM 101: A Realistic Introduction” Jay Wiseman.
3. “Playing Well With Others: Your Field Guide to Discovering, Exploring and Navigating the Kink, Leather and BDSM Communities” Lee Harrington and Molly Devin.
4. “The Loving Dominant” John Warren.
5. “The Ultimate Guide to Kink: BDSM, Role Play and the Erotic Edge” Tristan Taormino.
6. https://fetlife.com/
7. https://www.kinkacademy.com/
8. https://www.submissiveguide.com/