Author of the article: Li Olga Reading time: 10 minutes
Swinging – perversion or a way to strengthen marriage?
Who are swingers?
Swingers are people who practice partner swapping for intimate activities as a form of sexual behavior. Typically, these are strong married couples or people in long-term relationships.
Regularly or occasionally, they meet with other participants of this sexual culture to bring variety into their intimate lives and seek thrilling experiences.
Swing is a mutual exchange of regular partners for additional sexual satisfaction.
Today, the phenomenon of swinging is understood in a much broader sense. Most couples who adopt this form of relationship are not satisfied with casual one-off sexual encounters. This is why long-term friendships between swinger couples are not unusual.
Types of Swinging
Soft Swing
Couples swap partners but limit themselves to foreplay or oral sex, avoiding full intercourse. This is often the initial form of swinging for beginners.
Closed Swing
Couples swap partners but engage in sexual activities in separate rooms where no one can watch. This option is for those who prefer privacy.
Open Swing
Couples have sex with others in the same room, where everyone can watch each other. This format emphasizes spectacle and shared experience.
Swinger Clubs
Swinger clubs are venues or spaces where couples or individuals can meet to engage in group sex or partner swapping by mutual consent. This type of sexual activity usually involves the free expression of sexual desires and needs, with an emphasis on consensual relationships between all participants.
In modern swinger clubs, the focus is on privacy, safety, and the voluntary nature of all participants. There are usually certain rules and dress codes, such as mandatory clothing items or hygiene requirements. Some clubs host themed parties or special events for newcomers.
Swinger clubs can be either closed to outsiders or open to new participants.
Swinger Clubs and Swinger Statistics in Different Countries
- USA: The country has a large number of swinger clubs, especially in major cities. According to various estimates, about 4-5% of the adult population in the USA has participated in the swinger lifestyle at some point. Cities like Las Vegas, Miami, and New York are known for having active clubs and events catering to swingers.
- Europe:
France is considered one of the most open countries to the swinger lifestyle. There are several hundred registered swinger clubs, often integrated into the tourism industry. Around 3-4% of the adult population has participated in swinging at some point.
Germany has a well-developed swinger club culture. Major cities such as Berlin, Frankfurt, and Hamburg have popular adult clubs and parties. About 2-3% of the adult population has engaged in swinging.
Netherlands: Amsterdam and other cities are home to several well-known swinger clubs, and the country is famous for its liberal views on sexual practices. Around 3-4% of adults have participated in swinging.
- Australia: There is an active swinger community in the country, with clubs and themed festivals and events held in major cities like Sydney and Melbourne. Around 2-3% of the adult population has engaged in swinging.
- Canada: In cities like Toronto and Vancouver, there are several large swinger clubs that are popular among those seeking new sexual experiences. About 2% of the adult population has participated in swinging.
- South America: In Brazil and Argentina, swinger clubs are also present, but the swinger culture is less developed compared to Europe and North America. Around 1-2% of adults have participated in swinging.
- Asia: In Asian countries, swinger clubs are less common. In Japan and Thailand, there are some communities, but they tend to be more private and hidden from public view. Around 1% of adults have engaged in swinging.
How do people come to swinging?
People may come to swinging for different reasons and through various paths.
- Internet and Social Media: Many people first learn about swinging through online platforms, such as specialized forums, swinger dating sites, and social networks.
- Friends and Acquaintances: In some cases, people learn about swinging from friends or acquaintances who are already involved in this practice and may offer advice or invitations.
- Sexual Education and Exploration: People may become interested in different sexual practices and decide to try swinging as a way to expand their sexual boundaries and experiment.
- Books and Media: Literature, films, articles, and other media resources can tell stories about swinging and spark interest in readers and viewers.
- Relationship Problems: Some couples turn to swinging as a way to solve problems in their relationships or add novelty and excitement to their sex life.
- Clubs and Events: Attending themed events or clubs can be the first step toward more active participation in swinger culture.
Everyone comes to swinging in their own way. The most important thing is that in swinging, there is no room for doubt. Either a person is ready for such relationships, or they are not.
There’s no middle ground. As soon as doubts arise, everything returns to jealousy, suspicion, and conflicts.
The foundations of swinging relationships are: love, mutual respect, and understanding; no lies, secrecy, or jealousy. Without the first three qualities and in the presence of the latter, there’s no place for swinging.
Advantages of Swinging
- Openness and honesty in relationships. Swinging helps eliminate lies and unspoken issues in marriage, as both partners consciously agree to variety in their intimate life.
- An alternative to infidelity. Swinging is seen as a civilized alternative to secret affairs, allowing the couple to maintain their family and relationship without resorting to deception.
- Strengthening marital bonds through sexual variety. Sexual boredom can ruin even the strongest marriage, but swinging offers a chance to reignite passion through new experiences.
- Reducing jealousy and suspicion. People know with whom and when their partner was intimate, which reduces the grounds for arguments and distrust.
- Maintaining sexual attraction. The opportunity to see your partner in a new light through relationships with others can rekindle sexual attractiveness and desire in the marriage.
- Personal and physical growth stimulation. Sexual competition encourages partners to strive to be better for their significant other, which can lead to improvements in appearance and self-confidence.
- Minimizing the risk of STIs. In the swinging community, participants often undergo screenings, which reduces the risk of infections compared to random encounters.
- A new perspective on your partner. Interacting with others allows one to reassess their spouse, strengthen emotional bonds, and even enhance attraction.
Disadvantages of Swinging
- Lifting the internal taboo on infidelity. In swinging, infidelity is no longer seen as something unacceptable, which can lead to a blurring of moral boundaries in the relationship.
- Risk of eroding trust. Open relationships can gradually weaken trust between partners, especially if one starts seeking more exciting and diverse experiences outside the relationship.
- Emotional consequences. Even with mutual consent, emotional reactions to partner swapping can be unpredictable, leading to feelings of jealousy, hurt, or disappointment.
- Psychological strain. Not everyone is prepared to handle the psychological pressure that can arise from regular partner exchanges, potentially leading to inner conflict and stress.
- Gradual expansion of boundaries. Over time, the desire to seek more extreme or unconventional forms of interaction may arise, further complicating relationships and creating a risk of dependency on such practices.
- Challenges in returning to monogamy. After experiencing swinging, many couples may find it difficult to return to traditional monogamous relationships, which could lead to emotional distancing.
- Loss of value in marital bonds. Swinging may alter the perception of the importance of monogamy and commitment in marriage, resulting in decreased emotional intimacy between spouses.
- Risk of relationship breakdown. For some couples, swinging may not strengthen the relationship but instead lead to its dissolution if one partner develops strong feelings for others or struggles to cope with their own reactions.
- Issues with self-esteem. Interactions with others in an intimate setting may negatively affect one partner’s self-esteem, especially if they start comparing themselves to others and feel a lack of attention or desire from their spouse.
- Social and moral challenges. Despite mutual agreement, swinging may lead to judgment from others, resulting in social pressure and moral dilemmas within the relationship.
Divorce Statistics Among Swingers
Statistics on swingers regarding divorce and its impact on relationships are not widely studied, but some research and observations provide interesting data.
According to some studies and surveys:
- Divorces among swingers in the first six months: There is no precise data indicating the percentage of divorces within the first six months of swinging. However, research suggests that couples who enter into swinging relationships early in their marriage may face difficulties if they lack a strong emotional bond. Such relationships can lead to a quick breakup if issues like jealousy and emotional support are not adequately addressed.
- Divorces after several years: According to a 2005 study published in the Archives of Sexual Behavior, the divorce rate among swingers is somewhat lower than that of traditional couples. Swingers who have been practicing for several years are less likely to divorce. This is because they learn to openly discuss their desires, fears, and preferences, which helps strengthen emotional connections. Additionally, swingers tend to work more on trust and communication aspects.
Some studies suggest that couples practicing swinging for an extended period divorce
20-25% less often than those in monogamous relationships. However, these figures may vary depending on the group being studied.
Interesting Statistics About American Swingers
90% of couples who considered their marriage “unhappy” before swinging reported improvement.
About 50% of couples who considered their marriage “quite happy” also noticed improvement.
68% of swingers do not consider jealousy a problem, 26% see it as “somewhat of a problem,” and 6% see it as a “big problem.”
56% of men and 46% of women consider sexual variety an “extremely important” reason for swinging.
Approximately one-third of men and women consider the “opportunity to make new friends and diversify social life” to be “extremely important.”
69% of swingers consider themselves “completely satisfied with life,” while only 32% of regular Americans express the same sentiment.
76% of swingers find their life exciting, while only 46% of regular Americans agree with that.
History and Origins of Swinging
Swinging, in its modern sense, became popular in Western countries after World War II. It is believed that its origins can be traced back to U.S. military bases, where pilots, before going on combat missions, sometimes arranged partner exchanges in case of their death. These agreements gradually spread into civilian circles, and by the 1950s, communities of people interested in swinging began to appear in America.
In the 1960s and 70s, with the onset of the sexual revolution, swinging became more widespread. It was during this time that the first organized clubs appeared, where couples could safely and openly engage in such practices. Sexual freedom, birth control, and the development of contraception fueled the growing interest in swinging.
Conclusion
Swinging can either strengthen or damage relationships, depending on the level of trust, consent, and openness between partners. For some couples, it is a way to maintain passion and interest in each other, but for others, it can be a risk factor, especially if their relationship is already unstable.
Sources
https://ru.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/%D0%A1%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%BD%D0%B3_(%D1%81
https://otvet.mail.ru/question/19503562
https://egeriya.ru/online-magazine/29/chto-takoe-svingerstvo-izvrashhenie-ili-poslednij-sh ans-soxranit-otnosheniya/
https://antonio-1984.livejournal.com/124118.html
Pictures: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1D680bYVn1DBYOQdQRHG7fGqR6Cikz0UX