Adulterers, be petrified! Sex is a sin, and pleasure leads straight to hell!
These are the kinds of thoughts that often come to mind when the topic of sex in Christianity is discussed. But is this really true? Does the Bible genuinely consider sex sinful and unacceptable for Christians? Let’s explore examples and common myths to understand what the Holy Scripture actually teaches.
But first, it’s important to note that the source for this discussion should be the Bible and true Christianity. Yes, there is also false Christianity, which often gives rise to various disputes and contradictions.
Not All Christians Are True Believers
In reality, most people are neither true believers nor committed atheists. Being a true believer or a convinced atheist is challenging. It requires studying a significant amount of information, understanding different perspectives, and, for believers, applying spiritual strength. In most cases, what we encounter is ignorance and lack of knowledge.
Anyone can call themselves a Christian, even someone who has never read the Bible or attended church. There are also devout religious individuals who never miss a sermon, serve in the church, but still distort the true teachings and live contrary to them. A person can attend church their entire life and still not truly draw closer to the Kingdom of Heaven. Simply going to church doesn’t necessarily mean someone understands what’s happening there.
This leads to widespread rumors and misunderstandings about Christianity and its teachings.
Definitions for This Article:
- Christianity: A religion based on the life and teachings of Jesus Christ.
- The Bible: The Holy Scripture, the main source of Christianity, which should be relied upon when studying this topic.
- Christians: People who identify as followers of the faith but are not always competent or genuinely faithful.
- Orthodox, Protestants, Catholics: Christian denominations that may differ in external practices but are supposed to uphold the same truth (though this is not always followed).
Let’s look at a few examples of how false Christianity emerges, giving rise to contradictions and other factors that distort the true teachings of Christ in public perception.
Historical Context, Misinterpretation of the Bible, and Church Politics to Strengthen Dominance
Christianity is often associated with punishment and condemnation due to its “dark” past.
Early Christians viewed sex as an activity that could distance a person from God. Over time, this perspective deepened: sex was considered not only dangerous due to the potential loss of self-control but also inherently sinful—under any circumstances and with any partner.
Despite the evolution of perspectives, discussions about sexuality in Christianity have carried an undertone of sinfulness throughout the centuries.
Many recall how clergy promoted an ascetic lifestyle, renounced earthly pleasures, and condemned any manifestation of “happiness.” There are also accounts of rudeness, cruelty, and inappropriate behavior by members of the clergy, contradicting Christ’s true teachings. And, of course, one cannot ignore instances where the Bible was interpreted in ways that served the clergy’s interests or instances of corruption within the Church.
So how can Christianity still be considered a “kind and forgiving” religion after such events?
Priests, pastors, and clergy are ordinary people who hold specific positions; among them, there can also be incompetent or even cruel individuals. When we encounter a doctor who misdiagnoses us or prescribes the wrong medication, we don’t lose faith in medicine as a whole—we seek out a more competent physician. Christianity has endured a long and far from always righteous journey, but the teachings of Christ remain unchanged. The focus must always be on Scripture, not on the sins of individuals.
Even among the apostles, there was a traitor—Judas Iscariot, one of Christ’s twelve closest disciples.
Protodeacon Andrey Kuraev once said: “The number of scoundrels in cassocks has remained constant throughout the ages, and it’s an evangelical number: every twelfth.”
Statements by Those Who Don’t Fully Understand the Teachings
Most commentary on Christianity comes from non-believers. However, their judgments are often baseless and exaggerated. Misquoting the Bible and attempting to apply it to modern times without understanding historical context or ancient cultures distorts Christianity. Christ’s teachings are complex and extensive, requiring time and effort for a proper understanding.
The Bible cannot be interpreted literally or applied unthinkingly to all circumstances. After all, it describes many things: polygamy (the story of Jacob, Leah, and Rachel) or incest between a father and his daughters (the story of Lot). Such stories, taken out of biblical context, can even be used to argue contradictory interpretations of the Bible.
Sex as a Taboo Topic in Christianity
If the Bible does not consider sex sinful, then why is it a topic that is almost never discussed in public?
In the Bible, intimacy is a matter between a husband and wife and is not meant for public discourse. It is a sacred and private connection meant to remain within the family. However, there is no prohibition against seeking guidance from a priest regarding such matters or looking for answers in the Bible.
Everything shared between husband and wife is sanctified by God. If problems arise that cannot be resolved amicably, couples are encouraged to turn to their spiritual mentors, who can help mediate and resolve conflicts.
In modern times, churches (particularly Protestant ones) have started addressing this topic more openly, discussing the mysteries of marital intimacy in public forums. This positive trend is sometimes perceived as contradicting the Bible, but all aspects of these discussions are rooted in Scripture. The difference is that such topics were simply not addressed publicly in the past.
Monasticism
The vow of celibacy in the Catholic Church is one of the mandatory conditions for receiving holy orders. The Orthodox Church, however, does not forbid clergy from having families and children.
To justify the value of celibacy, theologians often refer to the teachings of the Apostle Paul:
“There is nothing wrong with a man having a family. However, for spiritual growth, celibacy is better. A married man thinks not only of the Lord but also of worldly matters. He must consider how to please his wife and children. An unmarried man is spiritually and physically free, and thus nothing distracts him from serving God.”
In Orthodox liturgy, there are distinctions between “white” and “black” clergy. White clergy—those who serve the church—are allowed to marry. Black clergy—monks—are required to maintain celibacy, as recommended by the Apostle Paul.
For ordinary Christians, however, becoming a monk or taking a vow of celibacy is not a requirement. Christianity offers various paths to serving God, allowing individuals to choose the one that aligns with their calling and life circumstances.
This path is chosen by those who wish to dedicate themselves entirely to serving God. The Apostle Paul writes in 1 Corinthians 7:7-8:
“I wish that all people were as I am. But each has their own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” This underscores that celibacy is not an obligation but a special calling.
The Main Problem of Christianity Is Christians
This is the same situation as with priests—after all, we are all ordinary people with our sins and flaws. The Church is not for the saints but for sinners. As the Lord Himself says, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick” (Mark 2:17).
If even priests have sometimes propagated incorrect teachings, what can be said about those who are just learning? Or about those who only pretend? Not all people in the Church are righteous; there is also performative Christianity, which promotes baseless prohibitions and misleads others.
True Faith and Religious Pretense
The topic of true faith versus religious pretense often sparks debate and misunderstanding in Christianity. These two concepts represent different approaches to spirituality: one is rooted in genuine striving toward God and a deep understanding of faith, while the other is characterized by outward displays of religiosity and excessive fanaticism.
True Faith
True faith is a sincere effort to live in accordance with Christ’s teachings, relying on love, humility, and an understanding of God’s will. It is expressed through actions, attitudes toward others, and a deep internal connection with God.
Key Traits of True Faith:
- Love for God and Neighbor:
Jesus taught that the two greatest commandments are to love God and to love one’s neighbor as oneself (Matthew 22:37-39). True faith manifests in caring for others, forgiveness, and acts of kindness.
- Humility and Meekness:
Faith does not seek praise or recognition. A humble person acknowledges their weaknesses and does not elevate themselves above others.
- Sincerity and Righteousness of Heart:
God looks not only at actions but also at the motives of the heart. True faith requires honesty with oneself and God.
- Forgiveness and Patience:
A true Christian forgives offenses and seeks peace, even when it requires personal sacrifice.
Religious Pretense
Religious pretense is a superficial or performative display of religiosity often accompanied by fanaticism, judgment of others, and rigid adherence to rules without understanding their essence. It emphasizes external expressions of faith at the expense of internal spiritual growth.
Key Traits of Religious Pretense:
- Formalism and Hypocrisy:
Outward righteousness unbacked by genuine striving for goodness and truth. Jesus condemned the Pharisees for adhering to the letter of the law while ignoring its spirit (Matthew 23:27).
- Judgment and Self-Righteousness:
The pretender often considers themselves better than others and judges people for their sins while ignoring their own flaws.
- Performative Religiosity:
A desire to showcase one’s faith—public prayers, loud declarations of piety, participation in rituals—to impress others.
- Fanaticism and Literal Adherence to Rules:
Religious pretense tends toward a rigid and inflexible approach to scripture, ignoring the context and essence of its teachings.
True faith leads to spiritual growth, love, and humility, whereas religious pretense leads to pride and hypocrisy. The Apostle Paul urged believers:
“Examine yourselves to see whether you are in the faith; test yourselves” (2 Corinthians 13:5).
Genuine pursuit of God and an understanding of Christ’s teachings are essential to avoid religious pretense and strengthen one’s faith.
Now, we can approach the question: what does the Bible say about sexual intimacy?
Myths About Sex in Christianity
1. Sex Is Only for Procreation, and Pleasure Is a Sin
Myth:
There is a widespread misconception that Christianity permits sex solely for procreation and considers it sinful if it is pursued for pleasure. In this interpretation, sex is seen as something dirty or immoral.
Reality:
Christianity does not condemn sex in itself. On the contrary, the Bible speaks of sexual intimacy within marriage as a blessing and one of the ways to express love between husband and wife. For example, the book of Song of Songs celebrates the joy of intimate connection, and the Apostle Paul emphasizes the importance of physical intimacy in strengthening marriage:
“Do not deprive one another, except perhaps by agreement for a limited time, that you may devote yourselves to prayer; but then come together again, so that Satan may not tempt you because of your lack of self-control” (1 Corinthians 7:5).
In other words, marriage is honorable, and the marriage bed is pure. Sexual relations within marriage are entirely normative. Problems only arise when moral principles are violated—for instance, through infidelity, fornication, or engaging in sex outside of the marital context.
Why Is Intimacy Reserved for Marriage?
Marriage, according to Christian teaching, is a complete union of life between two people—shared physically, emotionally, spiritually, and practically. Sexual intimacy serves as both a symbol and an expression of this wholeness.
Chastity, from the Church’s perspective, is not merely about physical virginity but about the purity of heart and the proper attitude toward one’s body and the body of another.
In Christianity, marriage is not just a union of two individuals but a covenant between three: the man, the woman, and God. The purpose of such a marriage is not only to bear children, as is commonly thought, but, first and foremost, to achieve unity of soul and body and to support one another throughout life.
Restrictions on Sexual Relations During Fasting and Holy Days
Christianity does impose restrictions on sexual relations during periods of fasting and on certain religious holidays. However, these restrictions are not absolute and apply only if both spouses mutually agree. Such prohibitions are strictly enforced only for the families of clergy.
2. Christians Have Limited Sex Lives, and BDSM Is Forbidden
Myth:
Christian sexual life is limited to the missionary position, and any experimentation, including BDSM or role-playing, is considered sinful and unacceptable.
Reality:
The Bible has a positive view of sex within marriage, recognizing pleasure and passion as natural and pleasing to God. The book of Song of Songs vividly describes sensual relationships between husband and wife. The Apostle Paul, in 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, encourages couples to satisfy each other and maintain intimacy.
Variety in marital intimacy is permissible if it:
- Occurs with mutual consent.
- Excludes coercion and humiliation of a partner.
- Maintains respect and love for one another.
Regarding BDSM or role-playing, Christianity condemns violence and humiliation. However, some Christians consider them acceptable under certain conditions:
- Full mutual consent.
- No physical or psychological harm.
- Respect for human dignity and moral principles.
Thus, diversity in the sexual lives of married couples, including some forms of role-playing, can align with Christian beliefs as long as it does not involve harm or degradation.
3. Contraception Is Forbidden
Myth:
All forms of contraception are condemned, and Christians are required to have as many children as possible.
Reality:
The attitude toward contraception varies among Christian denominations:
- The Catholic Church opposes artificial methods of contraception, permitting only natural family planning methods.
- Protestant and Orthodox Churches are generally more lenient and allow the use of contraception for responsible family planning, provided it does not have an abortive effect.
In Christian tradition, physical intimacy between spouses is seen not only as a means of procreation but also as a vital aspect of their unity and love. Therefore, depriving spouses of the joy of physical closeness is not encouraged by church tradition.
When is the use of contraception considered acceptable?
Contraception contradicts Christian values when it is used selfishly for personal gain. However, its use can be deemed reasonable when guided by a responsible approach, such as waiting for the right time to have a child based on spiritual, psychological, or financial readiness.
4. Christianity Is About Prohibitions, Guilt, and Condemnation
Myth:
Christianity only imposes prohibitions, instills guilt, and condemns any expression of sexuality.
Reality:
Christianity offers healthy boundaries for expressing sexuality. It teaches respect for oneself and others and helps avoid the destructive consequences of promiscuous behavior. Instead of instilling guilt, true Christianity offers forgiveness, healing, and new opportunities for spiritual growth. Moreover, God grants individuals the freedom to either follow these principles or reject them, calling for conscious responsibility for their actions.
Religion does impose limitations, but not on the person themselves—rather, it restrains their base instincts and passions, while simultaneously liberating the soul from the bondage of sin.
What Is True Freedom?
Freedom in Christianity is not the license to sin but the ability, through God’s grace, to choose good and reject evil. As Jesus said:
“Everyone who sins is a slave to sin” (John 8:34).
This freedom is attained through self-discipline, breaking free from harmful habits, and striving for true happiness. The process is not easy—it requires strength to overcome sinful inclinations and old habits—but it ultimately provides genuine relief and joy.
The apostles warned:
“Through many tribulations we must enter the kingdom of God” (Acts 14:22).
However, as a person learns to live in accordance with this freedom of choice, the burden becomes lighter, and life becomes more fulfilling and joyous.
The Gift of Freedom and Conscious Choice
God granted man the freedom of choice without limiting it by external laws. The Christian life is not just about following rules, but about consciously responding to God’s call to salvation. Only the free and mindful acceptance of this path makes a person’s actions truly valuable.
Unfortunately, sometimes even among believers, freedom is understood in a distorted way, reduced to the categories of “permitted” and “forbidden.” This is a simplified approach that does not reflect the depth of Christian teachings. In reality, it is more appropriate to ask questions like, “Is this beneficial for me?” or “Will this bring good to my soul?”
Not a Prohibition, but a Choice for Good
At the beginning of human history, God not only forbade eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but also warned of the consequences:
“In the day that you eat of it, you shall surely die” (Genesis 2:17).
This shows that Christian principles are based on caring for humanity, not arbitrary restrictions. It is not about forbidding, but about guiding human choices toward what is good, beneficial, and constructive for one’s life.
“Everything is permissible, but not everything is beneficial”
The phrase from 1 Corinthians 10:23: “All things are lawful for me, but not all things are helpful; all things are lawful for me, but not all things edify” highlights that believers have freedom in Christ, but this freedom should not lead to spiritual decline.
In sexual ethics, freedom of choice requires responsibility and respect for oneself and others. Certain actions, such as infidelity or fornication, can damage spiritual, emotional, and physical well-being.
A person should be the master of their desires, not a slave to them.
If God Gave Desire/Instinct, Why Can’t We Use It?
Christianity teaches that instincts and desires are a natural part of human nature, but they must be controlled and directed in the right way. Not everything that is natural is beneficial. The Christian view of sexuality emphasizes the need for discipline, respect, and responsibility in fulfilling desires.
When our actions are based solely on instincts, we become like animals and are no different from them. It is through control over our desires that a person is spiritually elevated.
However, God grants freedom out of His great love for all and does not take away those very instincts and desires, allowing each person to choose their own path.
What Christianity Advises to Avoid and Why
- Fornication (Sexual Relations Outside of Marriage)
Definition: Fornication is any sexual relations before marriage or outside of a marital union.
According to the Bible, sexual intimacy is meant for a married couple to strengthen unity and trust between husband and wife. Sex outside of marriage is seen as a violation of this sacred bond. In 1 Corinthians 6:18-20, it emphasizes the necessity to keep the body pure because it is the temple of the Holy Spirit.
Fornication is literally wandering away from the right path and failing to find it. Intimacy outside of marriage is like stealing—taking a part instead of moving toward fullness and unity, and primarily taking away from oneself, depriving oneself of that fullness. That is why it is considered sin—an error, a wrong choice. In Greek, one of the meanings of the word “sin” is “a miss” or “error.” The word “fornication” is not a curse or insult, but rather signifies that a person is mistaken.
Why Sex Outside of Marriage Is Harmful:
- Sexual Purity: In 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, it says: “For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you should abstain from fornication; that each of you should know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor.” Sexual purity is an expression of respect for oneself, one’s partner, and God.
- God’s Design for Marriage: Sex is intended to strengthen the marital bond. Outside of marriage, it loses its sacredness and becomes the fulfillment of carnal desires.
- Spiritual and Emotional Unity: Sex is not only a physical closeness but also a spiritual connection. Premarital intimacy can lead to emotional pain and disappointment.
- Health and Social Consequences: Premarital sex can lead to unwanted pregnancies, infections, and emotional trauma. Abstinence protects from such consequences.
- Cohabitation
Definition: Living together as a couple without officially marrying.
Why It Is Harmful:
- God’s Design for Marriage: In Genesis 2:24, it says that a man and a woman become “one flesh” through marriage. Cohabitation violates this sacred covenant.
- Moral Purity: Cohabitation involves sexual relations outside of marriage, which is considered fornication (1 Corinthians 7:2).
- Lack of Commitment: Cohabitation often does not involve full responsibility and fidelity, which contradicts Christian values.
This type of relationship emerged in the second half of the 19th century and became a norm, leading to many misfortunes for women and children. In such a situation, the man enjoys all the rights of a “husband” but bears no obligations to the woman, children, God, or the state. A man can leave his “partner” at any moment or even expel her. For an irresponsible person, this approach is quite convenient.
- Pornography
Definition: Materials with explicit sexual content intended to provoke arousal.
Why It Is Harmful:
Pornography leads to lust, distorts the perception of intimate relationships, and fosters addiction. In Matthew 5:28, it says that lust is equivalent to adultery. It destroys relationships and degrades human dignity.
In the Gospel of Matthew, it is written: “But I say to you that whoever looks at a woman to lust for her has already committed adultery with her in his heart” (Matthew 5:28).
Pornography is incompatible with the belief that God created man in His own image and likeness. Such a belief affirms the dignity of the person, while pornography reduces the person to an impersonal object and turns sexual relations into mechanical acts.
Pornography affects a person in three destructive ways: it creates an addiction that weakens the individual, it destroys the union of “one flesh,” weakening marriage, and it leads to a distortion of thinking, impairing the person’s ability to communicate and live in society.
“The lamp of the body is the eye. If therefore your eye is good, your whole body will be full of light. But if your eye is bad, your whole body will be full of darkness. If therefore the light that is in you is darkness, how great is that darkness?”
Matthew 6:22-23
- Polygamy
Definition: Having multiple spouses simultaneously.
Why It Is Harmful:
Although polygamy was practiced in the Old Testament, the New Testament establishes the ideal of monogamy: “And the two shall become one flesh” (Matthew 19:5-6). Polygamy violates the principles of faithfulness and equality.
A person should be known through deepening communication. If you engage in ten different activities, you will not become a specialist in any of them; you will simply accumulate bits and pieces of knowledge. But if you diligently focus on one thing, you will become a professional. The same is true in relationships: long-lasting, fulfilling relationships with one spouse provide much more than a series of casual encounters.
- Same-Sex Marriages
Definition: Sexual relations between people of the same sex.
Why It Is Harmful:
In Leviticus 18:22 and Romans 1:26-27, homosexual acts are condemned as being contrary to God’s design. Christianity teaches that marriage is meant to be a union between a man and a woman. However, Christians are called to respect and show compassion to individuals with homosexual inclinations.
Both physical and psychological development can have deviations. We all have some to a certain extent; it just manifests in different ways in some individuals, particularly in this area. A person must acknowledge that this is their weakness. If they avoid engaging in sinful relationships, the Kingdom of God is not closed to them: we all live with sin in our souls. However, to bless such a union is to legalize it, to say it is natural and good, and this contradicts the Bible.
Conclusion:
Christianity, as a religion, has frequently encountered distortions of its teachings due to human weaknesses, prejudices, and misinterpretations. One of these areas has been the view on sex and intimate relationships.
By studying the Bible and its historical context, we can conclude that sex itself is not a sin. On the contrary, in marriage, it is considered part of the sacred union between a man, a woman, and God. Sexual intimacy becomes a means of strengthening love, unity, and trust. At the same time, Christianity imposes moral restrictions to protect human dignity and avoid the destructive consequences of disordered sexual lives.
The criticism often directed at Christianity’s view on sex is based on myths, misconceptions, and partial knowledge. Faith does not condemn sex, but requires it to be an expression of love and respect, not lust or selfishness.
It is important to remember that the primary source of Christian teaching is the Bible, not the personal mistakes of individual clergy or believers. Unworthy behavior by some representatives of the Church should not overshadow the essence of the teachings of Jesus Christ, which is based on love, forgiveness, and spiritual growth.
Christianity is not a religion of prohibitions but a path to freedom and mindfulness, teaching how to control desires, respect oneself and others, and build relationships based on harmony and spiritual closeness.
